Let’s set some ground rules for 2024

The Man Rules

We always hear ” the rules”

From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

1.. Men are NOT mind readers.

1a.. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about    you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
2. Crying is blackmail.
3. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

• Subtle hints do not work!

• Strong hints do not work!

• Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
2. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
3. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
4. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
5. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
6. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both… If you already know best how to do it, just do it!!
7. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials…
8. Captain Cook and Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
9. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
10. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
11. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
12. If you ask a question, you don’t want an answer to expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
13. When we must go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
14. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or golf.
15. You have enough clothes.
16. You have too many shoes.
17. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
18. Thank you for reading this.

Disclaimer: This list is intended purely for entertainment purposes, it’s essential to approach such humour with a light-hearted attitude and an awareness that everyone is different, with their own communication styles and needs. This disclaimer is necessary as Julie may read it and I need to advise her that I don’t require these rules hers are fine.